The Importance of Looking Up
Our perceptions of our prospects are just about as important as our prospects themselves – perhaps even more so. When we think we will succeed, we try harder; when we think we will fail, we put out less effort. Frequently, though, we face half-empty/half-full situations. The only thing determining our success at that point is our perception of the situation.
Extraversion and Introversion
Many of us face a psychological bias one way or the other. Extraversion and introversion are the names that psychologists use to describe the positive bias and the negative bias, respectively. The biases are caused by basic differences in our perceptions of risk and reward.
Extraversion
An extravert has the inherent psychological bias toward perceiving the positive outcomes possible in a situation or experience. This is a very, very good thing. The glass is always half full for an extravert, and sometimes makes it all the way to three-quarters; since the extravert is more motivated by potential rewards than put off by potential losses, he goes for broke, even on the long shots. Since the long shots are chances that an introvert would never take, simple probability tells us that 100% of long-shot success stories are extraverts!
Introversion
Introverts, on the other hand, perceive the negative outcomes of situations. While this keeps them out of trouble, it also means that an introvert is more sensitive to losses than to rewards. Introverts never take the big chance, and because they go through life more sensitive to loss than to gain, the world is a gloomier place than it is for the extravert.
What am I?
Probably, somewhere in between. There are people in your life you look up to for their ability to “just do it” better than you can and others who you admire for their ability to “play it safe.” But if you want to get more happiness out of life, studies show you want to be an extravert. Why? Because extraverts are more sensitive to good experiences and less sensitive to bad ones – and since we all, on average, lead average lives, extraverts are happier on average. It’s mathematically sound!
Since I do want to be happier, how do I become more extraverted?
Depending on whether you ask Freud or Jung, some part of your bias is genetic and therefore immutable. What you can change, of course, is your environment. If you want to try new things more often, but don’t because you are afraid of failure, the best remedy is to JUST DO IT! This can apply to something as mundane as eating a messy piece of cake – rather than let yourself be put off by the icing you could find on your face, think about the delicious cake you’re about to eat. Then eat the cake.
When I learned to “just do it,” I was a young Boy Scout on a ropes course some 20 feet in the air, confronted with a telephone pole. I stared, paralyzed, unable to cross the darned thing despite my safety harness. All my alarm bells were sounding off, filling my head with the sound of “But what if?” The instructor finally stood me up and told me to just run across and think about it from the other side. And guess what? It worked.
But despite know what I should be doing, I often find myself falling prey to genetics and refusing to just do it, instead puzzling out every scenario and listing the cons before the pros. It takes conscious thought. Extraversion, for those of us to whom it does not come naturally, is a habit that needs to be formed. Every time I face a scary situation that my gut tells me is wrong but my thinking brain knows is not so bad, I try to remember the habit and do the thing.
On the telephone pole, and often in my life, it took some help from a more experienced, more extroverted person to get me on my way. So if you’re like most people and don’t run across suspended telephone poles for fun, get someone to help you! Surround yourself with shooting stars, the people you wish you were more like. Do the things that scare you. Expand, but don’t violate, your boundaries.
Best of luck!
(photo credit: Carolyn Coles and pirate johnny)
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